Why?

I turn 30 today, and looking back at my life...I'm not left with the question "How?" but a simple "Why?"

I still wonder daily why God would choose me to speak in to the lives of young people when I myself was not the best young person. I wondy why God uses me to lead worship despite the fact that I fake the guitar and struggle to sing in very many keys. I'm amazed at why God would allow me the opportunity to represent His church in ministry. I don't really get why he would allow me to soon become a father when I at times can barely organize my own life. I'm humbled at the times God would allow me to speak to our congregation knowing full well the wisdom in the room far surpases that in my life. I just don't get why God chose to whisper in my ear at 12 that He's called me, showed me at 19 that there were people waiting for me to answer the call, and now allowing me to come in contact with the very people I saw now 11 years ago. Why me?

My natural answer to this...is How? How can I continue to be used by God in those around me? How can I continue to resist the world and ensure that I'm an example of righteousnes for the young people we minister to? How do I communicate the gospel effectively and true? How can I be a good father? How can I be a good husband? How can I be a good pastor? How?

My ultimate answer, after 30 years...is...... I can't.

After 30 years, I've realized I'm nothing without Him. I can't speak without His annointing and can't lead without His widsom. I couldn't be a good husband without knowing His love first and He has taught me what a father is since the day I asked Him in to my life.

I've come to the conclusion that He is my all and I must give my all...It ain't easy, but hey..Why Not?

-Pastor Isaiah